Valley Girl (2020)

 

‘Life was like a pop song, and we knew all the words.’ – Julie

From late 2016 to early 2018, before he completely went off the rails, I was somewhat obsessed with Logan Paul’s vlogs. I watched every single one of his videos which broadcast his LA antics to millions of viewers daily. I watched him prank his younger more notorious brother Jake Paul, be pecked at by his parrot Maverick, smash a copious amount of plates and vlog his days on the set of Valley Girl, the remake of the 1983 romcom, in which Logan stars as Mickey Julie’s boyfriend and the most popular boy in his high school.

I wouldn’t have known this remake had existed if it wasn’t for Paul. The original Valley Girl isn’t a film I’ve ever heard talked about nor do I think it is one that is shown on British screens ever. I’m sure when he was first cast, his social media success and international appeal were selling points for the Sneak Preview Productions and the others involved, but it was this same notoriety that meant they had to push the release date for almost two years after it was initially completed. This was to prevent the film from being punished for Paul’s insensitive actions in Japan where he filmed a dead body in the Aokigahara forest, colloquially known as suicide forest.

With only his vlogs to go by, I assumed that Logan had a starring role in the film. When I saw the trailer and he was barely in it I assumed again that they had cut him out as much as possible but, in actuality the film isn’t about Logan or Mickey. Valley Girl is about young valley girl Julie, who is just about to go to college, starts asking for more out of life than the malls and domesticity that the valley has to offer. She wants to go over to hill, to Hollywood. After meeting Randy, a punk and band front man, she gets the chance to experience the other side of California and decide what she wants for her future.

Most of the way Julie expresses herself is through song, much to my dismay. If not hidden behind the beat and the singing of others, I’m not confident Jessica Rothe’s voice could stand alone. She often sang low notes, I assume (apparently I love to assume), in an effort to appear thoughtful and pensive but there is only so emotive a slow tempo rendition of Queen’s ‘Under Pressure’ can sound.

The transitions into these songs were always cheesy, like Karen’s flirty greeting to Mickey which promptly became a transition into the Toni Basil song, ‘Hey Mickey'. I  enjoyed the first few transitions into musical numbers, but they grew old very quickly because they were predictable and turned into less than impressive musical numbers. When trying to explain to her friends that she wants more out of her life because in the ‘1980s girls can do anything’, Loryn enthusiastically reminds her friend that ‘Girls Just Want To Have Fun’.

Side note, I have always and will continue to hate any line of argument that uses whatever year it is as reason to expect progression or change. It’s 2022 and woman are losing autonomy over their bodies through the change in abortion laws. The year means nothing.

Besides questionable musicality, the acting overall was enjoyable. Josh Whitehouse’s constant over exaggeration of his eyes and eyebrows, to show that he’s gOoFy aNd cOOl was the film’s main detraction. His valley equal Logan Paul did well as the tennis (jock?) Mickey, though they showed little on screen that actually made him cool but constantly told us that he was. I realised as I was watching it on top of his social media reach another reason Logan was a great cast for the film. If you enjoyed his content during 2017-2018 then you would’ve seen him as funny, charming and the main man to be around just like his screen persona. If not, you thought he was childish, self-absorbed and couldn’t understand the appeal like his biggest online detractors and the people over the hill.

Overall, Valley Girl is an average movie and without knowing the original I can’t add it to a growing list of reasons as to why we shouldn’t do remakes. But that doesn’t mean I won’t watch it again. I haven’t been able to get any of the 80s classics out of my head since watching it, even if their renditions left more to be desired.